essential happiness

he said he dont like desserts. gosh, i was so excited abt this, yet...

i doubt he will read this, so freely here i go.

im essentially a happie girl. or most of de time, i chose to be a happie girl.

or rather, whether its genuine happiness, i don give a shit.

even if i only "appear" to be happie, so be it.

or at least i haf the ability to send signals to my neurons to make myself "feel" happie.

its jus basic conditioning which in time to come, will essentialise.

ha! crap theory right!?

i realise thr all these years, he is still the root of nostalgia n baggage of unhappiness.

i wonder why when things were jus so swift n seemed insignificant then yet inscribed all these baggages of emotions in me.

no matter hw i try to let it go, it seemed that time did not fade them away.

i feel soo insignificant in his light. for such attention seekers like me, such feelings are so impt.

we can give freely the benefit of doubt for it makes one feels better.

im sure im not the onli one, prolly one of those, not the first though.

its nt worth the sleepless nites, terrible migraine n distractions at work.

like what dear said, choose simple happiness.

im waiting, aimlessly...