the commonality-will live in faded memory...放开了拳头反而更自由

I guess if any of my buddies see me blogging....you can suspect something is wrong liao.. and you are right!:)

Jay Chou - 失落非主流

失落非主流 - 周杰伦

失落非主流 - 周杰伦

你的绘画凌乱着.

在这个时刻.

我想起喷泉旁的白鸽.

甜蜜散乱了.

情绪莫名的拉扯.

我还爱你呐.

伴你断断续续唱着歌.

假装没事了.

时间过了走了.

爱情面临选择.

你冷了却了我哭了.

一开始的不快乐.

你用卡片拭写着.

有些爱只给到这真的痛了.

怎麽了.你累了.说好的.幸福呐

我懂了.不说了.爱淡了.梦淹了

开心与不开心.一一叙说着.你在不舍

那些爱过的感觉都太深刻.我都还记得

你不等了.说好的.幸福呐

我错了.泪干了.放手了 后悔了

只是回忆的音乐和还旋转着.

要怎么停呢

你的绘画凌乱着.

在这个时刻.

我想起喷泉旁的白鸽.

甜蜜散乱了.

情绪莫名的拉扯.

我还爱你呐.

伴你断断续续唱着歌.

假装没事了.

时间过了走了.

爱情面临选择.

你冷了却了我哭了.

一开始的不快乐.

你用卡片拭写着.

有些爱只给到这真的痛了.

怎麽了.你累了.说好的.幸福呐

我懂了.不说了.爱淡了.梦淹了

开心与不开心.一一叙说着.你在不舍

那些爱过的感觉都太深刻.

我都还记得

你不等了.说好的.幸福呐

我错了.泪干了.放手了 后悔了

只是回忆的音乐和还旋转着.

要怎么停呐

怎麽了.你累了.说好的.幸福呐.

我懂了.不说了.爱淡了.梦淹了.

我都还记得.

你不等了.说好的.幸福呐

我错了.泪干了.放手了 后悔了

只是回忆的音乐和还旋转着.

要怎么停呐

essential happiness

he said he dont like desserts. gosh, i was so excited abt this, yet...

i doubt he will read this, so freely here i go.

im essentially a happie girl. or most of de time, i chose to be a happie girl.

or rather, whether its genuine happiness, i don give a shit.

even if i only "appear" to be happie, so be it.

or at least i haf the ability to send signals to my neurons to make myself "feel" happie.

its jus basic conditioning which in time to come, will essentialise.

ha! crap theory right!?

i realise thr all these years, he is still the root of nostalgia n baggage of unhappiness.

i wonder why when things were jus so swift n seemed insignificant then yet inscribed all these baggages of emotions in me.

no matter hw i try to let it go, it seemed that time did not fade them away.

i feel soo insignificant in his light. for such attention seekers like me, such feelings are so impt.

we can give freely the benefit of doubt for it makes one feels better.

im sure im not the onli one, prolly one of those, not the first though.

its nt worth the sleepless nites, terrible migraine n distractions at work.

like what dear said, choose simple happiness.

im waiting, aimlessly...

today is 5th august...my birthday

thanks to all the lovely wishes and suprises!

u know, i always say bdays are days when u knw who truely care for u?

i dont need big bday parties, surrounded by constant NON stop sms is gd enuff.

will upload all my pics real SOON!

yohoo!

wonder why i feel sudden sadness dwell.

anyway, its abt choice!! IM A HAPPY GIRL.

i hope he doesnt read my blog, so that i can blog freely...

so excited!

i like this feeling.
cheap thrill.
super high jus by that few words...haaa


im flying to bangkok soon! more pics to come finallie.....

indulging in passion can reallie destress....

no wonder people fall in love.

woohoo!

Loving you....waiting....

loving you is easy cuz you're beautiful

making love with you is all i wanna do

loving you is more than just a dream come true

cuz everything that i do

is out of loving you

la la la…do…lu…ho…

no one else can make me feel

the colors that you bring

stay with me while we grow old

and we will live each day in springtime

loving you has made my life so beautiful

everyday of my life

is filled with loving you

loving you i see your soul come shining thru

everytime that we

ooh i'm more in love with you








*credits to my fav photographer cy..huggies!

Split personality.....

It is so scary how age is catching up, below the very first picture taken for my first job, June 2003 five years back.

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为汶川大地震 林俊杰

Neglected my blog...often. Long delayed pics, but nvr too late I guess.
Malacca Trip in March as below, totally gave me away and found me guilty of being biased.

Baby likes to take pics of me, caught unaware..esp when Im doing my make up....hmm wad a fettish.

Yes, no doubt, my little princess is in her bathing robe ready to go swimming!sexy sia!

ah yi, look at my eyes....

Happiness..simply

Only way to excite the girls after such a long ride, moving objects.

The white pony has such expressive eyes..

Dont ask me, i dunno if its a gun "sign" or peace...haha

I rem I fell from one of this moving rides when i was five! Trying to gain speed to win my cousin....duh competitive...

Only shot of myself in Malacca.

Huini's birthday and the reunion of the friends. Jasmine, me, Huini and Jiesi.

Long awaited pics of the booze we had in Jas's meritus rm. In celebration of the babe's birthday, booze fr 7-E!......

3 of us with a happie Jas..

Jas n me, I like to look skinny...=P

Mayday reunion with new members...ha, so fun at settlers.

Wad a couple shot, check out our shirts!

Long awaited shots of sentosa 07, all thanks to CY! luckie we are still frens ...haa

Cy would have looked alot macho if i cropped away his tummie! muhaaaaa

Wad an unwilling shot from both parties!How can I not upload this=p

Give credit to the photographer, like the way how my fingers looked long.

Thanks for editing away my ugly rashes on the face, cant tell hor.....=p

Another credit to CY for making me look skinny, at least this is wad I think lah, no need comments...haaa

Final muse of the day.

Cant help but filled with admiration for JJ for touching our hearts and making us proud as Singaporean, the talented and compassionate....

为汶川大地震-林俊杰

大地被摇晃著 天空突然黑了
我的心也被震碎了下一秒瓦解了
泪堆积成了河
但明天是好的 我们要坚定著
爱 让我们不放弃活著还要继续和大自然拔河

当爱与希望 投射炙热的太阳
昨日泪光 会随时间都蒸发
别轻易放弃 明天要许更多愿望
装满了勇气 就更有力量

当爱与希望 倒映暖暖的月亮
再回头望 又是筑好的家乡
我知道未来还有好多路要闯
我打开了窗 看见了晴朗

虽然我愿意-伍家辉

请让我靠近你轻轻对你说

别让我每个夜为你受折磨

是多么不容易才默默放手

为了我就当作这次为了我

别让我因为你被回忆折磨

而空气凝结了我们的脸孔

我别无选择

就算我们之间有什么问题

依然想念着你

虽然被放弃

虽然我愿意

就算我们之间有什么难题

黑夜我还想着你

心碎人孤寂

虽然我愿意

(心还想着你)

再让我靠近你轻轻对你说

当我说我要你从此好好过

是真的否则我怎么肯放手

为了我就当作这次为了我

赐给我你现在幸福的笑容

别让恨冻结了我们的脸孔

请你做选择请

lost internet connection, seems like i lost half my world...digust at such realisation..

Queen of night

Fly me to the moon

Let me play among the stars

Let me see what spring is like On a-Jupiter and Mars

In other words, hold my hand

In other words, darling, kiss me

Fill my heart with song And let me sing for ever more

You are all I long for All I worship and adore

In other words, please be true

In other words, I love you

In other words, hold my hand

In other words, darling, kiss me

Fill my heart with song and Let me sing for ever more

You are all I long for All I worship and adore

In other words, please be true

In other words, I love ... you

wad an emotional torture!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its killing me..i wished he gets to read this and understand the torment im drowning in...

我决定放开了，回到我的避风港。。。:)

若你是我，你会怎么做？

心情很差。
没人能理解。好难受。
我想哭但哭不出来。

我真的很舍不得你走。
好不容易才把距离拉近。

十年了。我仍活在十年前的记忆。

我哭了，终于！
好开心！忍了好久的伤感。
好复杂的心情。

我搞不懂为何会落泪。可是一旦获知他得离去，我心情好乱！
我真的舍不得你走。

我甚至问你：带我一起走好吗？
当然，你不把我当一回事，一定觉得我很荒谬吧！

我真得为我自己的眼泪感到尴尬！
不合理的伤心，一定会被好友臭骂！

我不是故意要背叛他，也没有意思想这么做。

可能你走得对。
我会继续想着你，梦到你，盼望在外国的你过得比今天更开心。

我真的舍不得你走。

可能哭过我就会没事。你走了我就会没事。

我是不是该赴他的约会呢？
见了面会不会更伤心，更舍不得？

若你是我，你会怎么做？

My precious little ones + long delayed colls' piz

Finally, a gd shot. It is REALLY difficult to take pics with little ones ya and this shot was taken with my hippotamus on the floor :s
Me n darling qi qi! I will abuse this pic n tell pple she is my DAUGHTER! wonder what will happen if my baby (if I ever have one) does not look as cute as she is...hmmm


Me , pretty little NingXi and Jun jun at Ah Si house

Sharlotte's solo of Happy birthday........=)

Another video recorded to prevent"2nd world war", haiz kids....

*************************************************************************

Looooong delayed pic of ex HGST colls at Jean's wedding. Well, somehow the reunions happen always at weddings, no matter how much we dread them. I miss HGST's unpolitical ambience mixed with those little gossips talk and happy girl lunches, haiz...

Below is a pic of my ex workplace, Dhoby Ghaut.

Me n buddie Sylvia. Now, I FULLY understand how I am always WRONG to think that the grass is greener.

Well, in fact , grass is always greener as I looked back at previous working environment. The further I go, the more difficult I find it hard to breathe. The air just keep filling itself with their unscrupulous intents, perpetually oblivious to the good of mankind. Why cant people just be more straight forward and BELIEVE that THERE ARE indeed PURE goodness in people who geuninely help because we CARE? I hate to be filled with disgust even with my closest people when competition begins. I mean cant I innocently believe that the Lord will bless us truely in our work and it is not for us TO COMPETE like some dogs in a race? I wonder how I can survive without the Lord's help. I insist to pray and bless people around me.

I believe.

Me and new Colls at Chelsea's wedding

Haiz...=( can u feel it? Monday blues....

Planning CNY 2009

haiz, poor me. yes, I baked muffins on Chu Er!better start making plans for CNY 2009, feeling upset at how little are the things we can do in every chinese new year...

Well, now I can fully comprehend why aunties dotes on nieces soooo muchie! Well it only takes another aunite to understand what I mean, oh shit, branding myself "AUNTIE" gosh....

my life's plateau

caught in the act...red-handed...wanted to secretly snap a shot of "evidence" but was caught by honey! ha

reviving my youth!

i cant belief i duno hw to use such machines anymore! God!
i cant belief he is so near yet so far..

A Christmas Letter to you...

Hello dear friend!

Well, as you know, it's time for my birthday again. Last year, they had a real big party for me and it seems like they will again this year. After all, they've been shopping and preparing for it for months now, and there have been announcements and advertisements almost everyday about how soon it's coming! They really do go overboard about it, but it's nice to know that at least on one day of the year some people are thinking about me a little.
You know, it's been many years now since they first started celebrating my birthday. Back then they seemed to realize and appreciate how much fun it is for the little children. Just the same, it seems that most folks are missing the point of it all. Like last year, for example: When my birthday came around, they threw a big party, but can you believe it?... I wasn't invited! Imagine! The guest of honor, and they forgot all about me! Here they had begun preparing for the festivities two months in advance, but when the big day came, I was left out in the cold!
Well, it happened so many times in recent years, I wasn't even surprised. Even though I wasn't invited, I thought I'd just quietly slip in anyway. So I came in and stood off to the side. Everyone was drinking, laughing and having a grand time, when all of the sudden, in came this fat fellow in a bright red suit, wearing a phony white beard and shouting, "Ho Ho Ho!"
He looked like he had more than enough to drink, but he somehow managed to weave his way running the floor while everyone cheered. When he collapsed into a big armchair, all the children went running over to him excitedly yelling, "Santa!! Santa!!"
I mean, you'd have thought he was the guest of honor and the whole holiday was in his honor! Then he began telling them the most ridiculous stories you've ever heard ... that he lived at the North Pole with a crew of dwarfs and that every year on my birthday he rides in his sleigh pulled by a bunch of flying reindeers, delivering presents to children all over the world!! I mean there wasn't a word of truth in anything he said! Imagine telling such poor, little, impressionable kids such far-fetched fables! Finally I just had to leave, I walked out of the door, and it was hardly surprising that no one even noticed that I had gone.
As I walked on the street afterward, I felt about as lonely and forlorn as stray dogs! I could hardly remember the last time I'd felt that low. Maybe you do not think I cry...........
Another thing that amazes me is how, on my birthday, instead of giving me presents, most people give presents to each other!
And to top it all off, it's usually all kinds of stuff they don't even need! Let me ask you, wouldn't you find it odd if when your birthday came along, all your friends decided to celebrate it by giving each other presents and never gave you a thing? Someone once told me, well, it's because you're not around like other people are, so how can we give you a present?
You know my answer to that one: Then give gifts of food and clothing to the poor, help those who need it. Go visit the lonely! I said, Listen, any gift you give to your needy fellowmen, I'll count as if you gave it to me personally! (See Matthew 25:34-40)
Well sad to say, things are getting worse each year. You can just imagine my shock a few years ago when I began seeing them taking my name out of my birthday greeting and replacing it with an X. What an insult!! Think of it!...X-mas!! What if I wrote you a birthday card and said Happy Birthday X! You'd probably never talk to me again!
And that's just about how I feel, I mean what more could they do to push me right out of the picture on my own birthday? It reminds me of what happened recently to a friend of mine, a sweet elderly fellow. He's from the poorer side of town and he's been trying unsuccessfully for years to join the church. But it was a very exclusive church for the proper kind of folks, and they just did not think he was good enough to be a member.
I found him one day sitting by the church steps with his head on his hands bowed and I asked him what was wrong, he told me about it, I put my arm around his shoulder and told him I knew how he felt. I've been wanting to enter that same church for twenty years and they've never let me in either! Well, there's an end even to my patience. So I'm going to let you in on a secret.........
Now this is something I've been planning on doing for quite sometime, but the way things are going, I think I'm planning of holding my own party! How about that? It's going to be the biggest most fantastic feast you could possibly imagine! It might not happen this year, but I'm sending out invitations now anyway because I know you'll want to come.
There's going to be room for billions, for everyone who wants to come! Some really famous old timers and celebrities are going to be there and I'll reserve you a seat of honor right with them! (Matthew 8:11) So hold on to your hat because when everything is ready, I'm going to spring it as a big surprise and a lot of people are going to be left out in the cold, because they didn't answer my invitation!! Let me know right away if you'd like to come, and I'll reserve you a place and, write your name in large golden letters in my BIG GUEST BOOK!!

Much Love, JESUS
Ninure Saunders aka Rainbow Christian

babyz day @ rasa